The morning my mother-in-law died one of her friends sent a delivery person to the family home. We saw the car drive up, heard a knock on the door, and expected flowers.
It was a half-gallon of vodka.
When I recounted the event later on, one of my friends said, “I’d like to know that family! What an attitude: In lieu of flowers, send Vodka!”
My reply: “I’m a lucky man to have married into them.”
Lee Holden, who died at age 87, was active and mentally alert to the end of her life. And I often said to her, “If I had to choose a family instead of the bride, I couldn’t have done any better.” Her reply was always: “You’re darn right you couldn’t have!”
Lee knew I always enjoyed a cocktail before dinner so she would inevitably make me a Vodka Martini, which was her favorite drink. She and her husband of 65 years, Chuck, also enjoyed preparing food for visiting family.
The last year had been extraordinarily tough for all of us, especially Lee and Chuck: In September 2007 they lost their son-in-law: Rich Adent, husband of their oldest daughter, Sue; six weeks later their second child, Jan, died of pancreatic cancer at age 61.
Then, in February Lee was in an auto mishap and fractured her pelvis.
After the accident, both Debbie and I were afraid she might contract pneumonia from the limited activity during the healing process. Lee, after all, had smoked for sixty years before she finally quit cold-turkey one day in an effort to get Chuck to quit, too. Lee’s lungs were already weak from the smoking, and she was on four times daily respiratory treatments, which she self-administered.
But Lee was-strong willed, and a fighter who never complained about her predicament.
Two months after the accident (April) she was back home, healthy (well, mostly) and anxious to return to her old routine. A meticulous housekeeper, she loved her animals, a Yorkshire Terrier named Mikki, and a rag doll cat, Nancy. Though she couldn’t play tennis anymore (she played until age 72, when her ankles gave out) but she avidly watched tournaments on television.
Summer passed and the vegetable garden began to produce its bounty. Then, in August, Lee suffered a mild heart attack. Again, an ambulance. A stent received and medication changed, Lee attempted to return to normal. Again, no real complaints. But the added medicine didn’t quite agree with her.
Labor Day weekend, unsteady from the medication and too stubborn to use her walker to help steady herself, she tripped and fell. Something had broken, she knew. It was her hip.
Again, tenacity prevailed as she moved from the hospital to a step-down hospital and finally into the same nursing home where she recovered from the pelvis injury. She was looking forward to working hard with physical therapy to return home to Chuck and her animals. On the road to recovery, though, she became unexpectedly weak. Sue made arrangements for Lee to visit the emergency room, where they diagnosed pneumonia and an upset stomach because of her medications. Lee arrived there on Friday. Debbie rushed down to St. Joe. Saturday I received a frantic call that her mother was near death; that I should hurry down as well.
I drove the 230 miles but again, Lee had shown tenacity and apparently cheated death from its nearly-successful grip. The doctor said they’d drain her lung on Monday, and after that, she should be ready to go back to the nursing home. I visited Lee and we talked briefly and smiled. Her condition stabilized, I returned to Traverse City on Sunday, ready to go to work.
At 4:00 a.m. Monday I received a call from my wife, distraught. Lee died after asking the nurses to open a window. Deb had stayed with Lee all night, as she had in past times, and was there as she departed this earthly world.
Lee didn’t want a traditional funeral. She was cremated, and in lieu of a wake or funeral a celebration of her life was held at the family home the following Sunday. Our kids were all there, as were a ton of relatives.
We drank White Russians, Jan’s favorite drink, and Black Russians and Vodka martinis, Lee’s drinks, and Rich's favorite beer, and pop, and the Holden’s great well water, and thought of Lee.
We posted pictures and quotes of her favorite sayings around the house, and wore jeans and fuzzy socks, apparel that Lee was known to favor.
We told stories, and laughed and treasured the moments she had given us over the years, through her cantankerous but very caring personality.
Lee was from the old school, mostly German, a product of Scheers and Gundlach’s and the frugality that comes with living through the Great Depression. Yet, Lee was one of the most generous persons I have even known, though many, I believe, misunderstood her sometimes gruff nature.
Lee has helped me in many ways, through the years, to understand the Scheer mentality which sometimes shows up in my wife. And I thank her for her welcoming me into the family, and her friendship, and not least of all, her Vodka martinis.
Well, here we are with the Hanleys: Warm weather and ocean breezes.
We've been loafing, mostly, eating probably too much and having a beer from time to time (and occasional gin and tonic!)
The condo is located on North Hutchinson Island between Fort Pierce and Vero Beach on A1A just across from the ocean. It's on the fifth floor and provides a terrific view down the beach. We've driven to both Vero Beach and Fort Pierce for shopping and lunch, but mostly mostly we've been just vegging out. Last night we visited Joe and Pat Harding, from St. Joe, who live in a complex next door.
Kevin got the internet wireless working well, so we're finally online.
McCain's T.C. Election Day visit; Bill's View Behind the Scenes
Sen. John McCain visited Traverse City on primary election day: Jan 15, 2008, attracting at least 420 people, according to estimates by an impartial group: the staff of the Hagerty Center, where the GOTV (Get Out the Vote) event was held.
It was a great rally with a good turnout, considering it was held on a weekday morning at 8:30 a.m. and a lot of people had to be at work at that time.
I am proud to say I had a small hand in the success of the event, being the campaign’s local contact to help McCain’s advance people organize the visit.
It all began mid December with a phone call from GOP Michigan National Committeeman Chuck Yob. He asked me to start thinking of venues for a possible visit on Sunday, Jan. 13: the Park Place Dome, an airport hangar, or other places that could hold at least four hundred people.
The reason I was called to help was because I was asked early on (last September) if I would be the McCain 2008 Chairman for Grand Traverse County.
"What do I have to do?" was my response at the time, wondering if I would be swamped with work.
"Not much," was Chuck's response, “until he comes to Traverse City."
Well, beginning December 28th with another phone call, I was called to action. Chuck informed me that the date of the visit had been changed from Sunday to Tuesday, the actual day of the primary election. So from December 28 until election day untold hours were spent laying the groundwork to help the campaign staff set up, publicize and get people to the event.
It was important to have a great crowd turn out: national media would be there and broadcast video throughout the state and even the country. In fact a whole busload of media arrived.
My marching orders were: first, find and secure a terrific venue. Next: secure a high school band (or two) to play live music; contact Veterans’ organizations to bring out a contingent (or two) of honor guard; get some large groups to attend in case no one else showed up (high school kids were acceptable); make sure the media knew of and publicized the event; notify the local police so they knew the Senator would be in town; and compile a list of local VIPs that should be invited and email it to headquarters ASAP for approval.
Once those things were in place the Advanced Team from headquarters would handle all the minor details, such as: setting up the room with risers for the Senator and press; handling the logistics of transporting the Senator and his entourage (and press, and all their luggage) from the airport to the hotel etc.
To accomplish my small part in the event took phone calls to more than fifty different people (and multiple phone calls to many). My computer logged 126 related incoming emails (many in response to my fifty outgoing inquiries). And then there were many hours on site with the advance team.
Now that the visit has come and gone, and people have had time to mull their reaction, it seems that the event was generally considered a success, even though the Senator lost Michigan to Mitt Romney. McCain did win two districts: the First, which encompasses the Upper Peninsula and northern part of the lower peninsula, and the Sixth, which is southwest Michigan (Cong. Fred Upton’s district).
Comments reflected how the Senator came across as a genuine person, even though he had probably given versions of the same speech many times. He was in command of the issues and possessed the demeanor of a leader.
Following his remarks he took time to shake hands and mingle with the crowd.
When one elderly Veteran got off his chair (we provided chairs for the honor guards) and attempted to walk toward the Senator, McCain spotted him and promptly walked across the room to save the older man steps. And McCain made time to talk especially with him, leisurely, for a minute or two.
Evidence that it’s a small world with a variety of connections became apparent even before the Senator came to town. One of the high school principals had a son attending the Naval Academy with McCain’s son.
The military camaraderie became even more evident when one of the crowd control volunteers told us that he was a flight controller aboard the aircraft carrier USS Forrestal in 1967, when there was an explosion and horrible fire aboard ship. He said that his voice over the radio was the last McCain heard before McCain had to bail out of his aircraft.
Prior to the event, both men asked for an opportunity to shake the Senator’s hand. And they got their wish.
One thing I forgot to mention. Shortly before the Senator's arrival I was given last minute directives that weren’t in the script. One was to quickly assemble all of the vets who had been seated in chairs and bring them to the back entrance…immediately.
I enlisted the help of one my the other volunteers and we ushered the veterans to the kitchen. We waited until the vehicle carrying the Senator entered the parking lot. Then we escorted the vets outside to line the entrance. Senator McCain took the time to shake each one’s hand and thank them for their service, and for coming out on such a cold day.
Such is the bond of those who have served faithfully in the U.S. military.
Last week our family untied in saying goodbye to our good friend and brother-in-law, Richard Adent.
Rich was only sixty-four years old when he passed. Yet, he was loved and treasured by many friends and family. Rich had a heart of gold, and would go way out of his way to help someone in need.
I remember, in the early 1970's when he help my wife, Debbie and me when we had car trouble in Ludington. I can't remember after all these years the miles he travelled to help us, but it must have been over a hundred. And he thought nothing of it.
Rich--along with his wife Susan--was the proud father of three extraordinary children: Todd, Amy, and Joe. They all have been extraordinary role models for our four children: Charlie, Leah, Steve and Nora.
I'm proud that our kids all helped during the difficult times of the funeral week: Charlie came in from California to serve as pallbearer; Leah read the scriptures; Steve sang "On Eagles Wings" and Nora helped with the small children.
Rich was a great friend as well as brother-in-law. He will be missed by many, many people. But his example has made a positive impact on our families and beyond. What more could one hope for?
Here it is, December, and I cannot believe it is nearly Christmas!
It's been quite a year. As Steve did in his blog, I'll try to summarize a few of the highlights since my last post, which was last March, the weekend of St. Patrick's Day and Steve's opera.
1. Leah and Walter got married! If you're a regular reader of the site, you'll already know this. Anyway, welcome to the family Walter H-C Scott!
2. Whatever happened to Summer? It seems as if I didn't really have a summer, though it was great to have Nora and Steve both home. They were busy with their full lives. Steve was an intern with a Michigan Supreme Court Justice and Nora worked at Haggerty Insurance and for the T.C. Beach Bums baseball team.
3. I went through physical therapy for tendonitis. Yes, my body can't take the abuse quite as well as the old days. I dug post holes to finish a fence before Leah's wedding and my arms didn't like it. Thank goodness for cortizone treatments to make the hurt go away!
4. Yes, I'm a complainer, especially compared to Grandfather, who never complains. He went through hip replacement surgery at age eighty something and was back working in his garden within a couple of weeks. I should be so sprite and lively at half his age. Wait! I'm more than half his age. When did that happen?
5. Sometime in August Debbie and I celebrated our twenty-fifth anniversary over again for the eighth time. I think we did something fun. But I can't remember.
6. Steve moved into a new apartment, but I didn't help him move in. In fact, I didn't even go down to take him back for the school year; Debbie did. Same story with Nora. Debbie moved her in, too, while I stayed in T.C.
7. I must be getting to be a stick-in-the-mud, because I also cancelled a scheduled trip to L.A. in September for really no reason than I wanted to spend time at the cottage since I couldn't remember where Summer went.
8. The snow is here. What happened to fall? I vaguely remember Nora being home for fall break, but not for very long. Were the colors good then? Or had the leaves fallen? Seems like the colors were good this fall. Or was that last fall? They all blend together after a while.
9. I do remember Thanksgiving. Especially the big screen television at Todd's house. Maybe once the kids are through college and the prices come down I might be able to buy one. Oh, many of us helped rake Grandfather's yard like the old times. But we didn't have beer this time. I wonder why not.
10. I finally got used to writing 2006 on things. But soon I'll have to change to 2007. Boy, adjustment can be hard, especially for a kid from Chicago who never saw the Cubs play in the series. (I'm talking about me, not Steve).
Happy St. Patrick's Day! Here I am at the Chicago River on the day they dyed it green! The shirt I'm wearing is a Corbett's Bar shirt, graciously supplied by my oldest brother Bob and his wife Gail. The sash is from the Bernard J. "Bun" Brady Division of the Ancient Order of Hibernians (Traverse City, MI).
On Parade Day in Chicago I watched as nearly 100 floats and entries passed by the viewing stand. (A bit bigger than our annual affair in T.C.)
Afterward I was privledged to attend a Sligo County party on the 3rd floor of the Hilton and visit briefly with my old high school buddy Jim Scheer and his with Kathy, and listen to his son Kevin play Irish tunes on the fiddle and his daughter, Kara, sing a beautiful Irish melody.
Happy St. Patrick's Day from Traverse City, Michigan!!
Today I picked up the new 1983 240D from Ron Bohrer and it drives great!!!
I miss the old oxblood red color, but the bluegrey with blue interior is certainly liveable. For your information, we bought the old 1981 240 D in November 1994, keeping it until March 8, 2006. We put about 66,000 miles on it in all those years (mostly kid miles).
From the old "Chuckmobile," Ron brought the following into the new one:
engine and transmission newer exhaust parts newer front end parts better brake pads snow tires we bought last winter, with original rims
and who knows what else.
From the new 1983 he left us: Original Becker radio with casette deck and an antenna that actually goes up and down when the radio turns on. a newer battery (ours was six years old. He said they usually last only three years)
We have newer summer tires with modern rims Ron supplied us with dark blue hub caps for the old tires which look pretty cool.
I drove it about fifteen miles today and I sure do like the old fart's 4 banger diesel.
It shifts smooth and boy is it quiet! Yes, QUIET. I can barely hear the diesel, even with the hood insulation gone. (Ron power washed away the insulation because it was falling off anyway. For $75 we can get new, but I don't think we'll need it.)
Anyway, Sorry kids...this is now Dad's car...you get the Bubble!
The morning my mother-in-law died one of her friends sent a delivery person to the family home. We saw the car drive up, heard a knock on the door, and expected flowers.
Summer passed and the vegetable garden began to produce its bounty. Then, in August, Lee suffered a mild heart attack. Again, an ambulance. A stent received and medication changed, Lee attempted to return to normal. Again, no real complaints. But the added medicine didn’t quite agree with her.
